How do we know who we really are without validation?  It’s normal for humans to want, to seek, and to need validation. For men we want our identity, our strength, our worth, and our masculinity validated. To know we have something to offer. That we are valuable. That we are indeed men.

Yet so often what happens is that we take these questions and longings of our heart and soul to the opposite sex. Like Adam, we look to Eve to offer us validation. So we go to her with our questions in one hand and our hearts in the other. We bring our woundedness to her hoping she can be our source of healing.

She might bring relief, but what we desperately long for is healing. A band-aid does not help a deep wound. When we give someone the power to validate us, we also give them the power to invalidate us as well. Tragically what ends up happening is that she is not enough, because she was never meant to be our source. So both men and women are hurt in the process…

We need a new source. A bigger source. An unchanging source for our validation. Otherwise we end up going to women in weakness hoping she can validate us rather than going to her in strength with our validation already secure.

Ultimately God alone is big enough and secure enough to validate us. A son looks to his father to know who he is and to answer his questions about himself and his own heart. We have a loving God that desires to father us in the depths of our souls. Whether we had a bad father, a good father, or no father at all, it was a divine setup to know our heavenly Father.

What would it look like if you encountered God as Father in a new way? That you lived knowing deep in your own heart and soul that you are His beloved son. That you have what it takes. That you are a man of God. How would your relationships be different? How would your life be different?

Come join us in January for our first ever conference dealing with this issue and so much more. If you are a young man between the ages of 18 to 25, you will not regret going deeper and seeking God with a company of other men.

For more information about the upcoming conference, visit us here.




  1. Only God can satisfy our hunger… Thank you for this message.

    • My pleasure!


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