by Josh Kim
What if I told you that slower is better than faster.
You might look at me perplexed. “Slower would get me fired from my job…”
Waiting is better than hurrying.
You might roll your eyes. “If only people can drive faster…”
Single-tasking is better than multitasking.
You might be annoyed. “I never have enough time…”
In our day and age, slow is disapproved while fast is glorified. As a result, being overbusy has become the hallmark of success. Hurrying is the new speed of life. And multitasking is an expected life skill where we must get more things done in the same amount of time.
Alicia Britt-Chole describes the modern world as following:
“Ours is a hurried age in which speed is defied and waiting is demonized. Ours is a cluttered age in which noise is the norm and images constantly clamor for our attention. And in our hurried and cluttered age, faster has become synonymous with better, and experience has become a substitute.”1
As a result, we are busier, more hurried, and more distracted than ever. Our fast lifestyle is the norm.
CONSEQUENCES OF FAST
But while fast produces productive results according to the modern world, how does it affect us as individuals? What does it to our souls? How does it affect our emotional health?
Psychologists and mental health professionals, Rosemary Sword and Philip Zimbardo, describe a new modern disease on the rise known as hurry sickness. Here are a few definitions:
- “A behavioral pattern characterized by continual rushing and anxiousness.”2
- “A malaise in which a person feels chronically short of time, and so tends to perform every task faster and gets flustered when encountering any kind of delay.”3
- “A continuous struggle and unremitting attempt to accomplish or achieve more and more things or participate in more and more events in less and less time.”4
Do any of those definitions resonate? For more insight on how our emotional health is affected, here are ten symptoms of hurry sickness by John Mark Comer5:
- Irritability: you get annoyed or frustrated way too easily, especially with little things.
- Hypersensitivity: minor things quickly escalate to major emotional events.
- Restlessness: you can’t seem to slow down and relax.
- Workaholism: your drug of choice is accomplishment and accumulation
- Emotional numbness: not having the capacity to feel others’ and your own pain
- Out of order priorities: living reactively rather than proactively
- Lack of care for your body: lack of sleep; lack of exercise; poor eating habits; easily sick
- Escapist behaviors: binging on food, shows, or activities to escape reality
- Slippage of spiritual disciplines: not doing things that are actually life-giving
- Isolation: being disconnected from God
Our physical bodies may be able to keep up with the fast pace of life. But in the process, our souls are beaten, pressured, and rushed through life. John Mark Comer perfectly describes it as “a form of violence on the soul.”6 As a result, our souls have become restless, anxious, and even numb.
PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH
In my previous chapter of life, I was the busiest I have ever been. I was going to graduate school full-time, pastoring a youth group part-time, driving for Lyft for needed income, babysitting kids for extra needed income, and ministering at Pursuit NYC. I was always on the move such as ending the day with babysitting only to rush over to a youth group meeting. I was always trying to keep my head afloat going from one responsibility to the next. Though I felt overwhelmed and exhausted most days, I thought these were medals to be proudly worn for being overbusy.
I didn’t question my speed of life. If anything, I thought I was living up to the standard of success. But after a while, I noticed a gnawing feeling starting to eat away at me on the inside. It was the feeling of anxiousness. Each day there was a mountain to climb yet I was always felt behind and short on time. And when I would attempt to focus to get as many tasks done as possible, my attention was constantly distracted so that when I would work on something in the moment, my mind would also be thinking about 10 different tasks on my to-do list as well. As a result, anxiety started building up because I was constantly on edge feeling like I forgot to do something, that I was letting others down, that I wasn’t doing enough, and that I wasn’t enough. My soul felt continually pulled in different directions and never felt settled, grounded, or rooted.
Eventually, the inner-anxiety started manifesting itself outwardly. I noticed that I was more annoyed and frustrated at little things that didn’t go according to my day’s plan. I started having out of proportion emotional reactions to people and events. I couldn’t connect emotionally well with others. How could I when I was too busy trying to numb my own emotions, especially my own anxiousness? I was living reactively according to all the fires that would need to be put out day to day without realizing that it was my soul and emotional health that caught on fire in the process. I knew the answer was to rest. But even when I rested, I felt anxiety creeping up to remind me of all the things I still had not yet done. So instead, I binged on shows to escape reality rather than resting to replenish myself
SPIRITUAL HEALTH
If our fast paced life threatens our physical and emotional health, how does it affect our spiritual health?
The most significant change I saw during that chapter of my life was my spiritual life. I didn’t notice it at first because it was a very subtle change. I was still going about my daily spiritual disciplines of reading the Word, praying, and going outside for walks with God. But I noticed that I wasn’t being refreshed and replenished as usual. Yes, I was still doing the same things but it all felt very shallow as I was constantly distracted during my time with God.
Spending time with God felt more like briefly small-talking with a random acquaintance rather than catching up with a close personal friend. Then it hit me one day. I realized I was rushing through my time with God so that I could get on with the rest of my day and catch up on all the other responsibilities. My spiritual disciplines were no longer the most important priority to help center and ground me but just one of the many other things I had to check off the list. I was rushing through my time with God just as I was trying to rush through everything else in life.
FAST FAITH VS. SLOW SPIRITUALITY
We’ve naturally applied “fast” to our spiritual lives, like everything else, because we’ve accepted an overbusy, hurried and distracted life as the norm. Since “fast” produces better experiences, we assume it should also produce better spiritual lives. However, a fast-faith only produces a shallow, easily distracted, and restless type of faith.
Perhaps that’s why many Christians feel dissatisfied, lonely, and burned out in our relationship with God today, according to Alicia Britt-Chole:
“Faster has become synonymous with better…The problem, however, is that faster experiences do not produce better relationships with people or with God. Relationship with God is best fed by a steady practice of attentiveness to God (as opposed to a diet of relative neglect, interrupted occasionally by quick spikes of engagement, and intense surges of experiences).”7
Faster is not the answer. Neither is more time because we would just add onto our already busy, hurried, and distracted life with more. Instead, the solution is to slow down.
When it comes to our spiritual health, slowing down is a must because God is, first and foremost, a relational being. He’s not something to be checked-off on our to-do list. Our connection to Him isn’t a formula but a relationship. Therefore, just like any other great relationships in life, ours with God cannot be “neglected and interrupted by occasional engagement”. It must be “fed by a steady practice of attentiveness.”
The spiritual life that is needed today isn’t a fast-faith but a slow-spirituality. A spirituality that is cultivated by intentionality and attentiveness to God. A spirituality that carves out the time and space to deeply know God and be deeply known by Him. A spirituality that commits to relationship over religion. A spirituality that is deep, attentive, and rooted. In the process, we are transformed by abiding in Him.
SLOWING DOWN
Spiritually, I’ve intentionally had to slow down how I did spiritual disciplines. I didn’t have to necessarily change the spiritual disciplines themselves but I did have to slow down my attention. In the previous chapter of my life, when I would devote a certain amount of time for prayer in the morning, my mind was easily distracted by others tasks for later on in the day. So one of the things I simply did to slow down my attention was to write down all the tasks in the day that I would need to eventually take care of before spending time in prayer. That way I acknowledged them and reassured my mind that I wasn’t forgetting anything so that when I prayed, I could freely and steadily give all my attention to God.
This really brought back depth, life, and connection with God where after an hour in prayer, I didn’t feel like I had an interrupted conversation with an acquaintance. Instead, I felt like I had an attentive, steady, and meaningful conversation with a friend. Slowing down my attention deepened my spirituality by reminding me that spending time with God isn’t time being taken away from my productivity, but time to keep me rooted in God before I go about my day. Slowing down has convicted me that time with God is time not wasted.
Emotionally, I’ve had to intentionally slow down how I went about my day. Previously, time felt like a ticking time-bomb reminding me of how much I still had left to do. This caused me to go about my day frantically, which only fed into the positive feedback cycle of creating more anxiety. So I intentionally had to slow down my pace. Practically, I try to single-task as much as I can throughout the day. Of course, there are moments where multitasking is required; however, single-tasking has helped me slow down my pace emotionally where I focus and calmly take my time with one priority versus focusing on two or three priorities at the same time and hurrying on all of them.
In addition, when I used to have to drive to work, I would leave 10-15 minutes earlier than usual so I could drive a little bit slower on the right lane and enjoy my ride with music or audiobooks. As a result, I would arrive at work not hurried or anxious, which allowed me to better connect with my co-workers. Slowing down my pace definitely seemed inefficient at first. But it has kept me more emotionally healthy, more productive with better quality work, and more connected to others. Time is no longer an enemy reminding me of all that I have not yet done. But time is a gift reminding me of all that I can and am able to do.
Physically, I’ve had to intentionally slow down how I went about rest. Like I mentioned above, when I attempted to rest, it was more about escaping reality than replenishing my body and soul. So I intentionally had to slow down with boundaries in my life. Rather than saying yes to anything, I’ve had to learn to say no. I’ve learned that spreading myself too thin didn’t benefit myself and others as no one got the best of me, but only a tired and exhausted me. One of the best ways I’ve set boundaries is by taking a one day sabbath (apart from Sunday) and using that day to feast my soul with activities, not even necessarily spiritual disciplines, that I enjoy doing with God. Every week, I would get all that I need to get done before sabbath, usually Fridays for me. Then I’ll use the entire Friday doing things that I love like spending my morning with God, drinking coffee at my favorite shop, hitting golf balls at the driving range, going to a sauna, reading outside at a park, enjoying nature, eating out at my favorite restaurant, and ending the night with a movie.
Unlike binging shows which leave me physically and emotionally empty, I’ve found that sabbaths replenish, refresh, and rest my soul so that I am motivated and charged to conquer another week. Of course, setting boundaries was difficult because it’s easy to think that one day could be used to catch up on work rather than play. However, what I realized is that there will always be work to be done whether you work 7 days or 6 days a week. The game changer for me was going about my week at 80-90% emotional and physical capacity with sabbaths rather than at 40-50% capacity without them. As a result, slowing down with boundaries has actually helped me to be more productive, more rested, and more sustaining in the long run.
Slowing down with attention, pace, and boundaries might not be how the world operates but I believe it’s how God desires for us to journey with him to be more depending upon Him and less dependent on ourselves.
GOD OF PROCESS
Living faster and doing more are the pressing temptations of today. But living slower and being more are God’s invitations. The invitation is to slow down because it takes time to make a man or a woman, as E.M. Bounds once said. God’s making of a man isn’t like machinery or a formulaic expression that happens instantly. God’s making of man is more like a potter forming and shaping a clay over time. It cannot be rushed.
God was never hurried with the lives of His faithful ones.
Joseph waited 13 years.
David waited for 15 years.
Abraham waited 25 years.
Moses waited for 40 years.
Even Jesus waited 30 years.
Why? Because God is a God of process. God loves the process because that’s how He develops, forms, and shapes a man or woman to become like Him. And that takes time to slow down, cultivate intentionality, and be attentive to Him. It must not be hurried because God cares more about who I am than what I do. And who I am must reflect who God is. Therefore, God takes his time to bring transformation in us before He brings transformation through us.
So while the world rushes people to quickly become someone, God takes his time forming someone. While the world is concerned with results, God cares about the process. While the world values fast, God values slow.
The modern world is busier than ever.
More hurried than ever.
And more distracted than ever.
Therefore, the spiritual life we need more than ever is not a fast faith, but a slow spirituality.
To slow down. Not rush. Cultivate intentionality. And build attentiveness to the One who we’re to become.
REFLECTION QUESTIONS
Below are reflective questions from Alicia Britt Chole’s book, A Sacred Slow, that I found very helpful in my process with God. I’ve learned to go deeper and slower with Him and found new understandings of God and myself. I hope it does the same for you.
Set apart 30 minutes to an hour of intentional time with God. Sit with God in silence and solitude. Go through a question per day and have a conversation. Journal to keep track of what God speaks in the process.
Initially, it may be very difficult if you’ve never built the habit of slowing down with God. You’ll constantly feel hurried, short on time, and distracted. Don’t worry – that is normal. God is not disappointed with you. He understands this is a new discipline and values/cherishes every second with you. He wants to know you and be known by you. I’m believing that God will meet you powerfully!
- “God, would you walk with me through my years and show me, remind me, and reveal to me significant moments in my journey with You?”
- “God what is Your heart for me in this season? What is Your focus as my Father? What emphasis would please you?”
- “God, is there any way that I view or think less about myself that grieves You? God, as a good and generous Father, what are Your thoughts towards me?’
- Alicia Britt Chole, The Sacred Slow: A Holy Departure From Fast Faith, (Nashville, TN: W Publishing Group, 2017).
- John Mark Comer, The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, (Colorado Springs, CO: Water Brook Publishing, 2019).
- Rosemary K. M. Sword and Philip Zimbardo, “Hurry Sickness: Is Our Question to Do All and Be All Costing us Our Health?,” Psychology Today, February 9, 2013, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-time-cure/201302/hurry-sickness.
- Meyer Friedman and Ray H. Roseman, Type A Behavior and Your Heart (New York: Knopf, 1974), 33.
- Comer, 2019.
- Ibid.
- Chole, 2017.