by Josh Kim
In the Gospels, Jesus’ disciples are witnessing miracles left and right by being with Jesus. Matter of fact, even the disciples experience miracles themselves when Jesus sends them out with power and authority. After they return in Luke 11, we come across an interesting moment between Jesus and His disciples. Rather than asking Jesus to teach them how to heal better, cast out demons more effectively, or perform greater miracles, the disciples asked Jesus to teach them how to pray.
Now the disciples aren’t the brightest group. They often miss Jesus’ point and misunderstand a lot of things. But they’ve been around Jesus long enough to observe that Jesus got up early in the morning to pray, sometimes prayed all throughout the night, and even withdrew from the crowds to prioritize being with the Father instead. When they connect the dots, they realize that it was Jesus’ lifestyle of prayer that empowered Jesus to do all He did. And in the same way, they too will have to learn to establish a lifestyle of prayer like Jesus if they are going to continue doing the will of God – healing the sick, raising the dead, and casting out demons (Matthew 10:8).
RHYTHM OF PRAYER
But if I’m being honest, as much as I know the significance and importance of prayer, it’s hard for me to establish a life of prayer. Some of the challenges are about not being consistent (time and place) as well as not being persistent. But one of the challenges I recognize in people stuck in prayer is not knowing how to pray in the way God uniquely speaks and communicates to them. So in the remainder of this blog post, I want to give you a practical step on how to establish a prayer life by discovering your rhythm of prayer. Your rhythm of prayer consists of three things: your prayer personality, your season, and your routine.
PRAYER PERSONALITY
First, discovering your rhythm of prayer involves knowing your prayer personality or how you uniquely hear from God. God as a Father speaks to each of His children in their own respective communication style. For example, some of you have experienced this as parents yourselves or by watching other parents. Some have experienced this growing up with siblings. But a father or mother may communicate with one child in a specific way but has to communicate with another child with a different style because of personality differences. What may work for one child may not work for another. In the same way, God speaks to each of us in different ways we are uniquely wired to communicate with Him.
I would say there are generally four different prayer personalities that everyone fits into:
- Knowers: For some, God communicates to you through “knowing”. Your prayer language is understanding things with faith and confidence without any direct evidence. Some might call it discernment or intuition. I like to describe it as listening to your “spiritual gut”. For example, you’re going about your day and someone you haven’t thought about in a while pops into your head. At that moment, you just “know” that you need to pray for that person and a certain situation that you wouldn’t be able to verify unless you talked with him or her. But in that moment, you just feel like you know and so you intercede.
- Hearers: For others, God communicates through “hearing”. Your prayer language is simply being able to hear God’s voice. Some people hear the audible voice of God. But for most of us, it would be that strong inner-voice of the Holy Spirit that resides in us that communicates to us on what to pray for, what to do, what to say, how to deal with a certain person or situation, and more.
- Feelers: God also communicates through “feeling”. Your prayer language is understanding things through your world of feelings. You’re able to feel what God feels and respond in prayer. For example, you’re praying about your future and you’re naturally anxious because you don’t know what your future holds. But while praying, you “feel” a wave of God’s peace wash over you and the anxiety subsides. That is God trying to communicate to you in that moment through your “feelings” that He holds your future, you don’t need to worry, and that you can trust Him. God communicates through our feelings to make us aware of what He’s feeling over a person or situation so that we would partner with Him in prayer.
- Seers: Lastly, God also communicates through “seeing”. Your prayer language is understanding things through visions, mental pictures, or dreams. God reveals things to you in different forms of images and you’re able to interpret what it means. For example, when I pray healing for people, I usually “see” certain names of body parts in my mind. Or I’ll “see” someone’s childhood being played out, like a movie, while praying over them because God wants to set something free from that part of their childhood.
Many times it’s hard to establish a life of prayer because we’ve never learned our prayer personality or the way God uniquely speaks to us. Therefore, prayer seems boring or difficult because it seems like a monologue. But it just might be that we’ve never learned to tune into how God speaks to us when He’s been speaking with us all along. And when we discover how God speaks to us in our prayer personality, prayer becomes more fun and like an adventure. We’ll discover that God loves to speak to us and answer our questions and intercessions regarding our lives, other people, and situations.
So discover your prayer personality. Try to pray and communicate with God through all the different personalities. And once you discover the primary way that God speaks to you, whether it’s through knowing, feeling, hearing, or seeing, grow in the way God communicates with you.
SEASON
Second, in order to discover your rhythm of praying, knowing what season you are with God is significant. Oftentimes, we forget that prayer isn’t transactional, but it’s relational. We’re not praying just to get a result or an answer but to ultimately grow with God. Therefore, knowing the season of your life will help guide you in how to relate with God, which will then ultimately determine how you pray in that season. Here are three seasons of relating to God and positions to pray from:
- Child to Father: You might be in a season of relating to God as a child to a father. God wants to build your identity as a child and at the same time, He wants to reveal himself as a good Father. Jesus highlights this season in Matthew 6 when he teaches the disciples how to pray by starting off with “Our Father”. In the following chapter, Jesus tells us that prayer is asking, seeking, and knocking because God is a Heavenly Father who loves to give good gifts to those who ask like a child (Matthew 7:7-11).
This can be uncomfortable for some because we think we’re unworthy to ask God for anything or we think that God isn’t a good father. However, God isn’t a reluctant or stingy God, but a joyful and abundant Father who loves to answer our prayers. So if this is the season you find yourself in, incorporate asking into your prayer life. You might ask, “Well how do I know what I’m asking is right or okay?” As a good Father, He’ll know which requests are good for us and which aren’t. We can ask and trust that God will know our intentions. We can leave that up to Him. He just wants you to ask so that you’ll come to know you’re His child and He’s a good Father.
- Friend to friend: Jesus also reveals another season to pray from in John 15:15 when He says, “I no longer call you servants, but friends.” This is in the context of abiding in Jesus as a branch on a vine so that we can ask whatever we wish, and it’ll be done for us (John 15:17). This is a season where you’re relating to God as a friend and you abide in Him. Your goal isn’t to get anything from God or ask anything. Your goal is to just simply spend time with God in His presence, build your friendship, and become more aware of His presence in your life.
When I find myself in this season or posture of prayer, I wake up, make myself a good cup of coffee, and I will spend fifteen minutes of solitude with God by being a friend. I don’t use this time to ask or intercede. I just sit in His presence to declare that I’m not in this relationship to get something out of it other than to be God’s friend. At first, this may seem difficult or awkward. But just like any friendship that develops over time, you eventually get to a place where you don’t need to say anything to fill in awkward silences and instead, you can just enjoy each other’s presence.
- Servant to Master: Lastly, you might be in a season of relating to God as a servant to a master. Jesus reveals this season or posture in Luke 9 when he sends out his disciples with “power and authority” to advance the Kingdom of God as His representatives. We see it again in John 20:21 when Jesus sends out the disciples as servants of God to release the authority delegated to Him from the Father.
This is a season when you’re facing hardships, experiencing spiritual warfare, or feeling overwhelmed by circumstances. And rather than praying as a child by asking or praying as a friend by spending time with God, you’re praying as a warrior or servant with authority. You’re praying with authority so that your family member will be healed of cancer, your marriage will be restored from potential divorce, or your season of unemployment will end. This is a season when there is a wall in front of you and you need to break through with the authority that God has bestowed upon all His servants.
Identifying what season you are in will help you establish a life of prayer because knowing how you relate to God in that season will help you to receive the breakthrough of that season. If you’re in a season of being a child, ask. If you’re in a season of being a friend, be with God. If you’re in a season of being a servant, use your authority. When we see the fruits of how we pray in that specific season, prayer will be anything but boring.
ROUTINE
Lastly, in order to discover your rhythm of prayer, knowing your routine is beneficial. One of the reasons it’s hard to establish a life of prayer is because we have preconceived ideas or notions that prayer must look a certain way. For example, praying with God should always be early in the morning before the sun rises, always on our knees, and at least for 30 minutes. As a result, it’s hard to establish a prayer life that fits our daily schedule or stage of life that we’re currently in.
So we have to know what routine works for us. Some of us are morning people so prayer works in the morning. However, others of us are so cranky in the morning that I’m pretty sure that Jesus doesn’t want to talk with us. Ask yourself and figure out: Do I pray better at this time of the day? Does nature help me to connect with God? Do I need zero lights and zero distractions? Does it help me to pace back and forth while I pray rather than sitting still? How much time do I have to pray in order to be consistent?
Right now in my life, I have the flexibility in my schedule to block off 30 minutes to an hour of prayer time. But I know that when I become a parent with kids, I won’t be able to do that, and that’s okay. Instead, my prayer routine will have to adapt and look more like praying 10 minutes at a time while driving my kids throughout the day.
Rather than getting caught up with how a prayer life has to look like, it’s more important that we understand what routine works for us and if it fits in with my daily schedule. It’s about finding what works for us. Establish a time, a place, and a plan and be committed to it.
So in order to discover your rhythm of prayer, learn your prayer personality, identify the season that you’re in, and be committed to a routine that works for you. My hope is that you wouldn’t just have moments of prayer or seasons of prayer, but a lifestyle of prayer.